Creative Thinking, a Pit Bull and Change

I returned home this evening from a nice weekend in the Berkshires with my children visiting my longtime friend Corinne. She has a fantastic home right in the middle of Great Barrington, Massachusetts and was warm and inviting to my large group of 4 children. Of course, it's always a shock to those friends of mine who don't have children and live a relatively normal, peaceful life. I urge these friends to take two Motrin when they see us pull up in the driveway. It must be a scary sight.

We talked a lot over the weekend about business and life (of course late at night and to the tune of little ones snoring) and since she is a tremendously talented and successful business owner (www.berkshirehomesales.com/) we brainstormed about so many business ideas. I felt I was on a retreat at the Omega Institute! It was a great creative and inspiring weekend and I feel grateful to have the opportunities to take such trips.

During the weekend, my daughter Catherine reminded me it was our dog Matilda's one year anniversary since we rescued her from a high kill shelter in Brooklyn in July 2009. I did not remember this date. In fact, for many months, I was trying hard to forget it. As an animal lover, I had recently lost my Lab Sam and still had an aging mixed breed Bad Bobby but he was declining. My husband was not particularly fond of these dogs and we labeled him a non-dog lover. Times would change. Jeff emailed me the picture above and stated we needed to see this dog. I was shocked but there we went, kids in tow, out to Brooklyn to meet a 9 month old female pit bull. This dog jumped out of the cage, jumped on us and was soon, jumping in our car for the ride home to New Jersey. Anxiety filled the air!

The past year has been a lesson in love, patience, change and more change. After professional training (more than one trainer), countless talks about returning her and arguments over her stubbornness, here we are. One year. She is family, we have persevered. It's important to know she still jumps, is still stubborn and we are still looking for a patient trainer :) but the change in all of us is so inspiring. Jeff walks them (oh, I should have mentioned 6 months ago we adopted Frankie 1/2 pit 1/2 lab and he's a gem) and Jeff cares for them more than anyone. Our once dog-disliking father and husband has come full circle and was recently seen sitting in the grass with both dogs spread across his lap.

"The story of love is not important--what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity."
--Helen Hayes

All in all, the weekend sums up like this: Be open and say yes to every opportunity that comes your way. Be grateful for the smallest things since it all adds up. Isn't happiness and peace our goal? Be mindful of your thought process and know every second you are open, it means change! Know deeply... happiness, change, opportunity, love and anything you want, is possible. I know this firsthand!

"Others have seen what is and asked why. I have seen what could be and asked why not." --Robert F. Kennedy

Bluest Skies,
Jordan

Inspiration, Determination and a Miracle...

EL TORO

Roller coasters have long been a secret thrill of mine. I was afraid as a child to ride one. I wasn't exactly exposed to many and certainly we didn't do Dorney or Hershey Park trips. It wasn't until my 30's when I discovered I absolutely LOVED the thrill of being that scared. Kids, life, work, etc. interfered with my passion and until recently, I decided I had to make it happen. Several weeks ago I went to Six Flags with my kids and ended up on the most unbelievable roller coaster in my life... I climbed aboard El Toro with my 13 year old daughter Catherine and felt the anxiety gripping through my body. She looked so happy I couldn't let her down and ask the attendant to get me off this possible heart attack machine. I decided to do it, prayed to some foreign goddess and screamed the entire ride. We laughed so hard when we got off, I was delirious. I couldn't wait to do it again.

Yesterday I organized a "Scream with Me" meetup with my women's empowerment group. Although I was hoping for more women to shed their fears and just do it, the 3 other women who came, were just perfect. Norma, Michelle and Kim were ambitious, fearless and amazing. When we womanly walked over to the ride NITRO, I didn't even notice. There was no line and we proceeded to go on. I had no idea. Apparently, neither did they. OMG. The sheer fear, excitement, thrill, adrenaline of this ride was the highlight of my year. I did it. We did it. It was frightening and so amazing! How awesome. Great team building. We were high fiving for 25 minutes LOL.

Overall, a very successful day with successful women and we all felt it. Many rides, many challenges and we overcame them. A serious self-esteem builder. Loved it!!!

Today, more great stuff...

An impromptu barbecue had lots of friends and family over tonight and the stifling heat led us to some night swimming at the lake. My friend Norma and I ventured out in the deep waters with my babies, Noah and Ella. We swam under a gorgeous moon to the dock where Noah and Ella showed no fear jumping off the low dive into 20 feet of water. We had a blast. The high dive, however, appeared to be waiting for us... It has been years since I jumped off and it scared me to death. 10 feet high, the climb up felt like doomsday! Once up there, it seemed terrifying to walk to the edge of the board and jump. I promised my kids I would do it this year. Was tonight the night?? Yes. I told Norma, I was doing it. She said, "I'm doing it too" Together, we climbed those scary steps and with tremendous trepidation, we did it!!! Not once, not twice, 4 times!!!!! So excited, we were howling in the water! Noah and Ella seeing these hot mamas do it, jumped too. We were all so high with excitement, with determination... it was thrilling! The energy was exploding!

The Miracle Part:

Almost 10 days ago, my 17 year old cat Paulina (originally my mother's), disappeared. She was frail and obviously old. My children and I have been looking for her body in the bushes, along the road, etc. We simply assumed, she died. She comes home every day to eat and drink so 10 days was too much and I was hoping she simply died in peace... After my Olympic jumping off the high dive tonight, I returned, exhilarated to find, Paulina, hurt, frail but alive in my backyard. She is here, fed, resting comfortably and will see the Vet tomorrow am.

Life is so grand. I wish more people would experience it this way. Nothing is impossible. I am on a mission to have as much fun as humanely possible. Won't you join me??

Love, Life and Miracles,

Jordan

"You gain strength, courage and confidence in every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt

When the going gets rough... Get going...

The counseling and life coaching field is so incredibly interesting and changes everyday. One day I may see an executive who is desperately seeking a life change... the next day may be a teenager desperate for her mother's attention.

I love the diversity.

I love helping people navigate through the tough times in their lives. It's always amazing how differently people approach obstacles in their lives. Overall, the goal is always the same. Peace, love, acceptance and more love. Always, at the end of the day, everyone wants to feel loved, accepted, acknowledged.

A client, I will name Steve, is a wealthy entreprenueur who has everything you can imagine. Several homes, lots of money and a loving family. Steve came to me for a simple request. He wanted to reconnect with his sister. They had a huge fight several years ago and he didn't want to live without her in his life. We explored what happened with the fight, their relationship and the impact of her absence in his life. He clearly missed her and wanted her back as his sister and friend. She was not so willing.

I am a firm believer in persistence (those who know me well, know this well) and Steve and I worked on a plan how to emphasize to his sister, his willingness to change, to love, to forgive.

Steve's willingness to face rejection and get up again and again was inspiring. Our goal together was for him to not give up. He wanted his sister back in his life and he was willing to do all he could to make this happen. His persistence and love paid off. His sister finally agreed to meet with him and ultimately had a session with Steve and I and it was amazing! The love in my office that day was so intense I thought we were filming a Hallmark commercial.

Sylvester Stallone said, "I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat."

Novelist Stephen King threw his manuscript for "Carrie" in the garbage because he was tired of getting rejections. Luckily, his wife (great wife) fished it out of the garbage. "Carrie" eventually sold more than 4 million copies and became a blockbuster film.

The question is, what do you do when the going gets rough? One of my favorite quotes is, "Fall down seven times, get up eight times" (Japanese proverb).

Think about it... You have the ability to do so much, change so much, be so much.

Get Going!

Blue Skies,
Jordan

8 years later and Heaven is filled with Papa and George Steinbrenner

July 13, 2002, my Dad, Efrain, died of lung cancer in my home. I was home with my husband Jeff and my sister Rain who had just flown in a few hours before from California. We were listening to beautiful music, John Coltrane before I checked my Dad once last time. He was gone.

For nearly a month, I slept near his bed on a little couch I bought from IKEA. It was so perfect. People would come to visit and sit on the little couch and I felt I provided him with an opportunity to say his goodbyes. He knew he was dying. He told me while in my car, "I don't care about dying my love, I just don't want to be in pain". I promised him that day that I would never let him suffer and I didn't. My father was my life long project. I didn't know it then, but I know it now. He wasn't always the best father, the best role model, the best friend... but eventually, he became all of that and more. He has been one of my biggest inspirations!

Catherine was born and my father changed his lifestyle, his world and I couldn't have been happier. The sparkle in his eye grew brighter when in her presence. She was magic to him and nothing could go wrong as long as he was allowed to play and cook and chase her around the house. All of this he did, all the time. I worked nights and would scramble for childcare as a single mother and drop her off at his house for two hours until my mother could pick her up after her work day at 5:00 to take her home. I look back and think how amazing this family pulled together to take care of my child, their child. I was never once told "no, I can't watch her" when it came to Catherine. Never. My father would drive from Paterson to Kinnelon 5 days a week. 5 of those days, he made us all dinner. He was a great cook and taught me so much. He taught all of us so much. Until my husband Jeff met my father, he had never hugged or kissed another man. My father embraced him and loved him intensely. It has been a life lesson.

Since the day I was born in 1966, every year, I spent the World Series, New Years Eve and the Presidential Elections with my Dad. These are the most memorable of times for me. That ended in 2002 with him but I wouldn't allow to end for me or my children.

Now, I spend them with my children and my husband and hopefully, my sisters and friends who I implore to join me... I still laugh at the sight of Jeff in the streets of our quiet neighborhood at midnight with the bear/blowhorn when Obama won. My father would have been so proud!!!

Nothing ever dies... I believe this. I carry him and his energy everyday... His lifeforce was amazing

For George Steinbrenner to die on the anniversary of my father's death made me laugh. There wasn't a bigger fan of baseball than my Dad (maybe my husband)...

Hopefully, they are sitting around talking about the World Series.... (hopefully not the All Stars Game tonight, LOL)

Blue Skies, Love and More Love

Jordan

A Heat Wave, A Crack Head and 2 Hours on 21 Jump Street

Every week I have several clients in the Essex County area... One particular client lives on 21st Avenue (also known as 21 Jump Street). Not a great block, not a great scene, not a particularly safe place. I spend 5 hours a week with this client.

The last visit was during the latest heat wave and I was not particularly happy about making this visit. I knew she didn't have air conditioning and I knew, with my hot flashes and 100 degree temperatures, it wouldn't be a fun few hours. I couldn't possibly show up in my bathing suit but I showed up, only to find my client, whom I will call M, on the steps of her building. The sun was glaring, there was no overhang and 21 Jump Street was bursting with activity. I asked if she wanted to go upstairs but M said it was hotter upstairs then on the steps. Sigh.

After a few minutes, a woman joined us and by the second she arrived, I knew, it would be an entertaining two hours. Ms. C, as she called herself, was dressed up with heels and jeans and makeup to the max. She talked a mile a minute and cursed every 2 seconds. She proceeded to tell me the following:

• You know, I like the "womens" and not the "mens" and your skin is NICE (as she rubbed my arm)


• I have a piece, do you have a piece? Don't come to 21 Jumpstreet after 6 pm without a piece because I will rob you. I'm sorry but I'm being honest. If you got the green, I'm gonna rob you.


• Don't ever go with a man with feet all crusty like this brother (yes, she said it in front of him). Damn man, with those feet, you will cut up my sofa and tear up my sheets...oh no, you can't take that brother home. (He walked away quickly)

She then proceeded to unbutton her blouse and take her breast out so that I could see a scar she endured while holding a woman in a headlock and the woman bit her. Nice.

I was out of there by 5 but not before the police showed up with guns drawn and taking down some teenagers for some drug dealing...

I walked to my car hot, sweaty and grateful... always grateful.

Love, Life, Vacations and No Haunted Mansions

There is something so wonderful about being at the ocean... I am a Pisces so naturally, I feel the most peace being near water... Every year, I have been vacationing at the Jersey Shore with friends and family. It's been so memorable. Last year, it was two glorious weeks in Brigantine and it was sunny, happy, festive and fun. This year, my best friend Caroline and I ended up in Wildwood Crest.

I haven't been to Wildwood since I'm ten years old. The drive was great, the kids were great. The hotel on the ocean has everything you would want... The kids are excited and our days have been full and busy... We got up early today and Cassidy and her Mom Lynn came down from Brick, NJ and we went to the waterpark nice and early... A mere $210.00 for the family pack, lol. I was determined to go on every damn water ride and we did. My kids started to slow down but not me. We left the waterpark after several hours, and embarked on the boardwalk.

For some reason, Ella was focused on the Ghost Ship. A scary, interactive "haunted house" that stated on the sign, "kids under 12 are not recommended". I explained this to all the children. They were determined. Caroline refused. I was scared but determined to be strong for the children. I entered with 4 children and fake optimism. OMG. This was terrifying. 5 minutes into this experience, I realized, it was a mistake. Dark, loud, scary with men jumping out from the top, sides, bottom, it was too much to bear. What were we doing here?? I looked for exits and couldn't find them. Finally, with Ella in my arms, Noah wrapped in my arms and Cassidy and Catherine attached to my back, a new Zombie appeared in front of us with an ax. Noah, terrified, shouted, "no more, please, no more" and he vanished. It was understood, my kids had enough... We reached the exit and ran... I apologized to all the kids. I had no idea. Noah asked me to feel his heart beat. It was fast.

We ended the day positively.. a few more exciting rides, some ice cream, and finally, a gorgeous beach night with fireworks that lasted more than an hour.

I am watching them sleep... sun drenched, safe, happy. It's all I could ever want for them...

So Grateful...

I'm Everything I am... Because You Loved Me...

I heard this song tonight by Celine Dion and I was struck by how much the words meant to me.

"For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you"

Last night, while sitting at the gorgeous lake I call my home... the sun was coming down and Jeff and I sat while watching Catherine, Noah, Ella and Cassidy swim and laugh and do amazing things off the diving boards. I looked around and couldn't help but feel tremendous gratitude and expressed to Jeff how my life has come a long way. What a glorious place we now call our home!

Growing up poor in Paterson, I remember thinking that people who had pools were so rich. I could never ever imagine a lake, a beach, a community, a life where I live now. Or could I?

I always knew I would not be "poor". I just knew better things were ahead... Life was bursting with possibility. But where did that come from? I had a Puerto Rican father with a 5th grade education and his mantra was always, "get educated". I can remember him telling me that I should not be married or have kids until I had a college degree, a home and a bank account. Pretty amazing for a man who fled his abusive family at the ripe age of 13 and made it down the mountain of Utuado, Puerto Rico to New Jersey.

Then there was my mother. My amazing, strong, resilient mother... 5 children at 25 years old and never had healthy parents to support her. She worked two jobs and did everything she could to move us out of poverty and into possibility. Amazing!

We didn't know it then. We know it now! Without her, it's too scary to think of the possibilities.

More importantly at this point in our lives... are my 3 older siblings, Bob, Rain and Brenda... How these three amazing human beings navigated through such turmoil and chaos to pave the way and carve an amazing path for Nadine and I, I may never understand. I can only express my sincere gratitude. I can speak for both Nadine and I and we are most grateful!

I only know that today, everyday, I am so grateful for my life. My amazing life. The life my kids have and will continue to have. All of this so possible because I was loved. All of this so amazing because we have loved one another. There can't be another human being on the planet more grateful than me.

I love you Mom, Dad, Bob, Rain, Brenda, Nadine, Uncle Jim and Aunt Phyllis... I am everything I am because you loved me...

Eternally,

Jordan